Saturday, 19 July 2008

Job Hunting

Job hunting is easily one of the most tedious things you have to do. You put on some nice smart/casual clothes and dredge around shopping centres with your bag of CV's looking for a job you won't hate as much as your last one. The thing is I have no particular skills either, yeah I can pull a pint but anyone could after watching someone else do it, doesn't matter, I've had enough of pubs anyway, stealing drinks isn't worth constantly pissed of managers getting angry at you because there's no customers.

And you hand in a CV to anywhere that looks like a doddle like Natural World. then there's places you actually wanna work, like HMV or Game where you imagine it would be like High Fidelity but they never call back. Or you go to a cinema and talk to the actual manager and hand your CV in person and you thought they would give you a job because you made them laugh. So you go home and the next day you get a phone call...

"Hello is that Jack Sparling?"
"Err, Yes" (Please don't be Debt Collectors, please don't be debt collectors. wait could this be UCI?)
"Hi this is John the manager from stationary world..."

Stationary world? which in my opinion would probably be worse than pouring a bottle of Tressemae into your eyes.

You always get a call from the place where you handed in a CV for the sake of it, and I'm so polite I can't refuse an interview for it, so I just don't go to the interview, in the long run I just end up feeling guilty everytime I buy a pen.

Monday, 14 July 2008

What I do with my days.

Here's a standard day for me.

1pm-3pm: Wake up, makes myself breakfast, which usually includes either

  • Beans on toast towered
  • Warm cornflakes
  • Bacon sarnie
  • Caff fry up
  • Peanut butter on toast

Then I sit in my chair in my dressing gown watching the Dave channel eating and smoking to much. I usually get a call round this time by GL telling me I should come over because he's bored.

3pm-4pm: I hop in the bath to clean myself and sing choruses to songs I don't remember the verses too.

4pm-1am: I pretty much hang out with GL all evening, we watch Dave while ignoring eachother because we have nothing new to talk about. We sometimes play Smash Bros. but really it's just us trying to rekindle a friendship way past it's sell by date. But it's nice for us to have company.

1am-5am I go home and cook something not good for me such as a plateful of chips, a pack of turkey drummers and a can of beans. I then sit down and watch The Black Donnellys, Father Ted and Curb your enthusiasm (depending on the day).

Then I'll flick on the Playstation and play Harvest moon, tending to my farm and family and play that until I hear either the birds tweeting or see the sun start to rise.

I then go to bed listening to either Tony Hancock, Akira the Don, Blonde from Fargo, Johnny Cash or Blues Brother Soul Sister.

Well I hope that was a useful insight.

Good night and good luck.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008


I'm not a fan to be honest. It's too hot to wear a coat, I'm to fat to wear a T-shirt and I just sit around sweating all day. I've got nothing to do except sit around sweating and drinking Fanta. It has been a good summer for video games however. But they're all too short. which means I have nothing to do apart from sit around sweating waiting for the Dark Knight to come out.

I need a new job, so far my best idea has been supervillain, But I only have a small criminal record and no superheroes to battle with. I don't wanna go on the doll, Mitcham Blockbusters has closed down and apparantly you cant get money for giving blood.I wanna move out but I need a decent job before doing so, then no one will have my adress (Huzzah!).

It's been a dissapointment all round to be honest.