Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Calling all Vets, Doctors, Scientists, the Japanese and Anne Rice

Due to my unemployment I've been wondering a few things, I've come to a few conclusions of my own which I'd like to share but I have a few that I need answers for, so great minds of the world unite, and read my blog.

1. If squids have 2 hearts, do they love Phil Collins twice as much?

I know 2 things in life, Phil Collins 'No Jacket required' is the most heartfelt beautiful album of all time. Secondly squids have 2 goddamn hearts. now by my logic, this means squids should fucking love Phil Collins (And Seal), now, I don't know any Squids personally, so any marine biologists reading, hit me up

Verdict: Undecided

2. Can vampires get erections?

Some bleed, some don't, now as far as I know, you need blood to maintain an erection, but I don't know if their blood runs or whatever, they're sometimes known as the living dead or the undead. however, I feel I've answered this question.

This is David, David was a vampire from the cult film 'The lost boys'. David was all about drinking, partying, fighting, riding his motorcycle really fast and taking you ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE.

This is Edward from the vampire love story Twilight, He's caring, compassionate, drives an extremely safe Volvo (With a seatbelt) and still goes to school.

Here's my theory, After years spent of not being able to get any action due to his 'undead condition' Edward has broadened his mind, reading poetry and books, playing the piano, general arty shit. Wheras David has not stopped partying, he doesn't need books or art to satisfy his needs. Look at the picture above. He gets ALL the action he needs.

So, verdict.
Sensitive vampires (True Blood, Twilight, Vampire diaries): No
Badass vampires (David, Lestat, Blade) Yes

3. Do the Japanese think the rest of the world is weird?

The Japanese indulge in every fantasy with pride

EVERY fantasy

Now the Japanese are public about their weird fetish's, should we look down on them with disgust or honour these brave pioneers? So my question is do they look at us as weirdos because we don't indulge in super hot face tying fetishes publicly? Will the future be like Japan where buying octopus porn can be bought without the off licence owner looking down at you?

Help me out here the wonderful Japanese public.

Verdict: Undecided

4. Do vets look down on Doctors because they only focus on one species?

I have no input on this one, help me out guys.

Verdict: Undecided

Well readers, I'd appreciate your input, drop me a line or leave a comment for answers.

Stay Gold.

1 comment:

Frau said...

In the 4/5th film Edward Cullen will get some action so i'm afraid your theory is wrong dude :(