Friday, 28 January 2011

Step aside Emilio, it ain't over till it's over.

My favorite things off last year are the following:

Plan B
Idris Elba
Scarlett Johansson
Raymond Chandler

Now that's out the way time for a moan.
I need a fucking job, this is getting ridiculous, It's hard to be an international playboy/superhero with no money to maintain it, And no matter where I try, people just don't want to hire me, maybe I should stop printing my CV on hemp (If it worked for Woody Harrelson it should work for me right?).

I've been thinking about what I want to do, so I just tell people I'm an 'aspiring writer' even though I can't be bothered to write anything other than 'lolz' on peoples status', but don't judge me, innit.

I'm a bit worried about the blog as it goes, My sister's started reading it so I had to delete all the stories of drug fueled orgies and LARPing, so yeah, thanks for censoring me Jojo.

Yeah last year was alright, Same as most the others. New years was alright, I just got really krunk and at one point things got to much for me so I had to go outside and stand outside a shop for half an hour and eat a Lion bar.

Since new year my dickish behaviour is sloping between "Jacks being well behaved" to "Seriously, why are we friends with Jack?", So I figure I'm either a super villain or on the verge of an emotional breakdown. But you know, don't be a bender.

This year started bad, We lost Peter Postlewaithe who was awesome, and last night I heard some news that alarmed me. Just before I powered down the laptop to do my go to sleep ritual (Scream myself to sleep) I read that Charlie Sheen was rushed to hospital shortly after being delivered a briefcase of cocaine. God that guy's badass.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night. I worry about Charlie Sheen, He's to awesome for his own body. But then I got to thinking about it, would I do much better? Charlie Sheen is the highest paid television actor going, My friend told me he earns like 2 million dollars an episode. Who wouldn't see an arse load of prostitutes and do barrels of drugs when all they have to do in the morning is roll out of their bed/women/drug/all 3 pile and make shitty comedy?

The only difference between Corey Haim and Charlie Sheen is a career and depending on the next few hours, Life.

This post may sound negative but it's really not, I fucking love Charlie Sheen. Genuinely, not in an ironic "I love Chuck Norris" way. I think he's a great to watch and an all round badass. Ever seen Hot Shots? That's my shit.

I just want him to stop making 2 and a half men and get back to movies, for the love of god Charlie, I know 2 million is alot for an episode, but when you're doing movies again, You won't even have to pay for the prostitutes and drugs. Just work with Oliver Stone again, I'm sure he has a car that follows him round with loose women and drugs for his actors.

So, I want everyone before they go to sleep, to pray for Charlie Sheen. Whether you pray to God, Allah, Xenu or (Like me) Superman. He'll pull through, and when he does, I got an idea for a hilarious buddy comedy alongside Mel Gibson with Lindsay Lohan for the female lead (I smell an Oscar)