Friday, 4 February 2011

The many faces of Jack Sparling.

When people hear the name Jack Sparling, a few thoughts pop to mind:

"Suave Charmer"


"Alec Baldwin lookalike"

"Drunk dickhead who takes his shirt off at every possible opportunity"

Let's face it, I'm an attention seeker. Bad attention is still attention, which is why I take my shirt off every time I'm challenged at anything. This is why I write a blog, have public pictures of my balls on facebook, wear a suit and aren't allowed in Mothercare anymore. I like the attention.

But it's not easy readers, I juggle all these personalities to cater for specific crowds just so I'm the centre of attention everywhere I go. I have an array of party tricks, anecdotes, dirty jokes and obscure references stored in my head. What I'm saying is, I'm always on, trying to impress people, I'm always equipped for whomever I meet, whether it's Ed Milliband or Bernard Manning. Now these skills would be useful if I was a stand up comedian, or an actor, but I'm not, I'm just a lazy manchild.

This may be the point where you are scratching your head and saying "But why Jack? Surely someone as handsome and well dressed as you doesn't need to get impress people with witty humor and fart jokes?" This is true, but ain't just a pretty face.

Truth is, I just want people to like me, Maybe it's because my parents didn't talk to me until I was 11 (Or until I "earned it" as they put it). But the rewards are worth it, I've got alot of friends who I like, glowing character references, good stories and a vast array of pictures of me being awesome. Some people think that people wanting to be liked is because they're insecure, or they hide their true selves all their life. Maybe...Maybe.

But I fucking love attention.

Stay Gold


Anonymous said...

Crazed Alec Baldwin lest you forget...

Colin Wren said...

Good luck meeting Bernard Manning :P

Anonymous said...

Jack you joka. give ur uncle a bell.

Prolivic said...

I'm glad you admitted to the fact that you are in fact an attention seeker. See, I'm not mean.. honesty is the best policy and all that bullsh*t!