Friday, 11 March 2011

Day 26: What kind of person attracts you.

Breathing. Anyone alive or not long dead.

I don't know, pretty sure I went through all this already. She has to be a looker for starters, I'm not talking drop dead gorgeous, but at least someone you can introduce your friends to without having to apologize for offending their eyes with the manpigface you bought to the pub with you.

"She's really funny and is great with kids guys"

People think because I'm not exactly *cough* Svelte. I have to like fat girls or be more sensitive towards people who are 'facially challenged', they could not be more wrong.

I don't want to come of as insensitive but I don't wanna go out with a fatty, I'm not saying they're bad people, or don't have great personalities, but I'm obviously pretty fucking shallow. It's just the way I was made, and if you don't like it, what are you gonna do? Chase me? HA!

She has to have a decent sense of humour, if she can't laugh at abortion jokes or being called adopted it's just simply not going to work. I show affection through insults (Unless I'm just making fun of you, it's hard to tell, I'm confounding sometimes).

Accents help too, I don't know why, I just like some accents, maybe it's a weird fetish, maybe it's because people with accents are easier to make fun of, who knows.

They have to be able to hold their own in a videogame situation. She can have legs up to her head but if she can't watch my back in Gears, what's the point? That's just a woman waiting to be slapped.

See, I'm not a fussy guy, I'm just looking for a good looking, slim, funny, gamer who happens to be filthy rich.

Stay Gold.


Anonymous said...

No mention of some damn fine calves?

Anonymous said...

I keep forgetting you're surprisingly fast for a "non-svelte" bloke,your smooth arse must help in the theory of streamlining or aerodynamics.