Saturday, 9 April 2011

Stupid things are annoying me now, I'm evidently turning into my nan.

I'm getting irritable in my old age. Over really stupid things, In my typical stolen format fashion, I'm going to go through them and let you know why they annoy me, more than likely outing myself as massive hypocrite while I'm at it too.

People not answering their phone.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm pretty fucking awful with my phone, if you call me 9 out of 10 times I won't answer. Usually because I've either left it in my favourite crack den or I'm in one of my my moods where I plain old don't want to talk to anyone.

Occasionally I need to call someone because I need a lift or can't remember who I lent my hooker shovel to.

"Ha! Sure, Tuesday sounds good, By the way have you
got my hooker shovel? It happened again"

I hate using the phone, it's impersonal, you can't read peoples reactions and my deadpan delivery and comic timing suffers. So, when I call you, it's a big deal, you should answer quickly and with enthusiasm. For some reason it really bothers me, so a note for the future folks, when I ring, answer within 3 rings, of you WILL lose my friendship.

People talking to you with one earphone in
This really winds me up, is my conversation with you THAT boring that you need the Glee cast destroying another rock classic in the other ear? I think it's just rude, this is the sole reason everything's fucking up, the worlds tearing itself apart because The UN are so rude most of them are doing just this instead of trying to solve their problems.

"Shut up Carla, Edward's about to propose to Bella"

'Women' who do their make-up in public
Look, women. What the fuck is going on? The amount of times I've seen women on the tube or in an office doing their make-up, save that shit for home, you're taking away all the mystery. We know that you don't naturally look that good, but we like to believe you do. I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but if only there was some sort of way women could know how to conduct themselves in modern society.

If only...

Dennis Quaids career.
Top of your head, name 5 Dennis Quaid films. Shoot, some of you probably don't even know who he is, Google him, I'll wait. Yeah, that guy. I love Dennis Quaid, I think he's a talented guy, he's a great leading man. But for some reason, his career never took off as much as it should have. This upsets me, I don't imagine it's as many peoples concern as mine and Quaids agent, but I think everyone should know who he is. I will fix this.

Well, those are a few things that bother me, they may seem small but they're bothering me more and more these days, I don't know if it's age or the fact just an angry, angry fucker, but it feels better I got it out there.

Stay Gold.

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