I don't have any friends here, which is new for me, being the social magnet I am, I'm used to being surrounded by people which admire and respect me for my intellectual and athletic prowess.
Specially my Athletic Prowess
See, I came to Reigate for work a few months ago, my good friend Harry got me the job. And Reigate's just outside the M25, so as far as my friends and family are concerned, I might aswell live in Heartbeat.
So Harry got me the job and he lived nearby so we'd hang out alot, but after a month of working together he decided to be selfish and take his family to the Isle of Wight for a better life. Dick.
Reigate's changed me too, I had Tapas the other day, who the fuck shares food?
I can't really make friends either, Problem is I've already burned most of my bridges when it comes to making friends with some of the other members of staff. This is pretty much how a conversation went the other day.
Me: You added me on facebook
Her: So we can be friends.
Me: Let's face it, we're never gonna really be friends.
Her: What? Why?
Me: Honestly it's nothing personal but lets face it, neither of us are gonna be here forever, we just work together, you have children
Her: I have a child, yes.
Me: We're never gonna hang out are we? We're not gonna go for drinks, or see films, I'm just being honest, people call me rude all the time but it's just honesty, how many friends have you still got from your first job? Real friends not facebook friends?
Her: Let's go for a drink then,
Me: Nah you're alright.
Then I went back to playing Alleyway on my phone.
Jack Sparling: dickhead.
And you know I'm right, you go to a party and people add you afterwards, you accept to be polite and if you're one of these optimists you're all like "this could be the start to a new friendship" whereas if you're like me you're more like "She's fit, wonder if she's got holiday pictures"
And you can't make friends when you're our age, you're at this weird part of life. You made all your friends at school or college and you're not old enough to be friends with a neighbour or someone you've worked with at the kelloggs factory for 15 years.
So it appears I'm a fucking grown up now, I'm in a place now where you don't see your friends everyday and you have to arrange for somewhere to sleep if you go to a party.